Saera

Now is a time of becoming more open and authentic about who I am and how I feel.

This morning I had a rough conversation with one of the leaders I practice Buddhism with. It was difficult and intense, but I came out of it stronger, and I know we both found some new realizations. I am recommitted to developing a strong relationship with him as a Bodhisattva of the Earth.

I also redetermined to have detailed notes for every meeting I go to, and particularly to record specific instances of what I find problematic.

Human Revolution is always an ongoing process. I am so grateful for all the things I have learned from Buddhism about shaping the nature of my life.

Damn, better get working.

So much to do, so little time.

Sometimes I really wish I could write while I bike to work. I ought to see if I can get Daniel's tape recorder to work so I can talk to myself and write stuff later. I get great ideas riding and being surrounded by the forest that lines the bike path. I think about writing stories again, and bits of poetry that I loose by the time I get to work or home. And I feel like so rarely do I have time or patience to just sit and get it all out and not focus on anything else.

I want my life to be different. I know it's going to be shortly, with school starting and all the complications that it brings. I am excited to be going back to school. I've always loved it. But there is a lot of stress associated with it at this point, and it *is* a bit scary. What I mean about wanting my life to be different is the things I want to do that haven't been integrated into my life yet. This is a huge challenge. Lunch over, more later.

Lots to chant about, see?

 I need to chant more and write more and be outside more. Ironically, I'm not outside now because it really is so much easier to write on the computer. I remember how nice it was when, while at Willamette, I could occassionally get outside to use my laptop. It didn't last long because the batts didn't hold the charge, but it was a nice feeling. 

 
Oops, lunch's over....

 Yesterday was amazing. I woke up to a phonecall from Jehann, who I met carpooling to April Kosen Rufu. I finally had called her on Tuesday, and it was good timing. She took me to climb Mount Toby, one of the "mountains" around here. It's nothing like a real Alaskan mountain, but it's better than anything I've really had access to for the past couple years. On the top was a fire tower that went above the treeline and you could see all the way to New Hampshire/Vermont and south toward Springfield. It was a totally gorgeous day, and we talked easily the whole time. Next she took me to the "Peace Pagoda", a monastery with a vow of poverty that also practices a form of Nichiren Buddhism. They built their house and the "pagoda" by hand, with materials only gained by donation. They aren't allowed to ask for anything. It was interesting, but a little weird to me because of having monks and nuns. But I can tell they mean well. They exude compassion and sincerety. Afterward Jehann and I eventually wound up in Wendell, where her friends work in a "country store" - kind of a convenience store. We made sandwiches from bagels, avocados, and cheese, which were delicious. It was such a marvelous day!

I want to buy a house, and I'm working on how to do it before I graduate. Also, I am determined to go to the Florida Nature and Culture Center. Now it's a matter of details.

 Today is May 3rd. On this day in 1951, Josei Toda was inagurated as the second president of the Soka Gakkai International. Nine years later, in 1960, Daisaku Ikeda was inagurated as the third president of the Soka Gakkai International. The first president was Tsunesaburo Makiguchi, who died as a political prisoner during World War 2. Currently, the SGI has an annual contribution drive. I am still looking for more information, but my understanding is that this annual drive was inspired by Pres. Toda's massive contributions to the SGI. Other members began contributing, and now it is an opportunity for people to express gratitude for the SGI and Nichiren Buddhism. The size of the contribution matters less than the spirit in which it is given. Many members also see this contribution as acknowledging the interconnectedness of all things and sowing beneficial causes within one's life. Articles discussing this campaign often refer to Nichiren Daishonin's letter in which he offers extensive appreciation for the gift of a simple unlined robe, sent by a sincere couple who were firmly dedicated to the practice of chanting Nam-Myo-Ho-Renge-Kyo 

I am hoping to see Emi, Annemarie, Stephanie, Angela, Mandira, and other SGI friends from the Boston Area. I would also like to change my financial karma for the long term, and be more consistent in my efforts to build the village and introduce people to this practice.

 I need to be writing a lot more. So here's a start. 

I told Angela C. before I left Boston that I would write an article on the concept of mentor and disciple, and I have been thinking about it, among other things, on my bike ride to work. I also promised to expand into articles two statements that I wrote about the village concept and changint the world. 

When I first encountered Nichiren Buddhism, I struggled quite a bit with the concept of mentor and disciple. While I instantly felt a sort of connection to President Ikeda, I felt reluctant to title him as a Mentor. I respected him and appreciated what he had to say, but I felt that it would be too impersonal to consider someone so far away as a mentor. 

Gradually I came to develop a greater understanding of this vital Buddhist concept.

I'm having a fantastic day. I woke up around 8 and spent an hour reading "Green Living" - a newspaper from Vermont for environmentally minded people in New England. It's very good, and when I have a bit more money, I'm definitely buying a subscription. Daniel came home from his morning shift at work just as I started morning Gongyo, so we did it together. That is always a pleasure. I had some soup, as I didn't feel like cereal, and I did a bit of research online. I found Montview Neighborhood Farm, which is only a few blocks from my house. I was looking for a nearby farm to volunteer at on my days off, and this pretty much fits the bill. I went to find it, but missed it and found myself in Downtown. I amused myself for a bit browsing in a fun store called Faces, and then Daniel joined me. We went to Starbucks so he could figure out his schedule for this week, and on the way home we decided to use a coupon for Breugger's, but we had to go home to get it. We did that, and reminisced about the Bagel Factory of Anchortown. Breugger's just doesn't live up. We came home I read the rest of a chapter of the Human Revolution by Daisaku Ikeda. I then determined to try finding Montview again. I managed to find it, and it's great! I talked to Ben, who appears to be one of the founders. This is their first year! I told him how I wanted to volunteer, and that's cool. I can drop by any morning and if anyone's working I can see how to give them a hand. This is a great opportunity for me to develop some experience working with land and growing things, while establishing connections to others who are interested in cooperative community development.

I feel, at last, like I am really on my way to building a village.

I am PSYCHED!